David Price

Price Check: David Price’s First Half, In Verse

There once was a man named Dave Price
Whose pitching had always been nice
He called all the shots,
Ripped all the spots;
The Red Sox were rather enticed.

Dombo had seen him before,
In Detroit, where both found the door.
Price went north,
Dombo went forth
And grabbed Price (for Boston) once more.

Henry gave him the millions of Scrooge
With the diktat he had to be huge
‘If great I can’t be,
Pity not me,’
Price said, and we hoped he bled rouge.

But Larry Bird didn’t walk through that door
In fact, Price’s first half was poor!
I tried not to trip
Said ‘Look at his FIP!’
But mo money, mo problems? For sure.

Until Sunday’s tilt vs. the Rays —
The last before the dog days.
Price brought the noise,
Used all of his toys
And made Tampa look like mere boys.

For the second half of the year
Can he make his old stuff appear?
Can he miss bats?
Let’s look at the stats!
That is, after all, why we’re here.

Let’s start with BP’s own DRA!
Deserved those runs, did you say?
Not so for Price,
3.08 is nice
And could go down the rest of the way.

This isn’t, of course, the whole story —
For at times, Price has been gory
He’s allowed some big dongs.
(Yes lol dongs)
And caused a great many to worry.

For as much as I’d temper concern,
His stuff *has* lost some of its burn.
While some velo crept back,
It’s still on the wrong track
But as you age, you still learn.

So can Price become a professor?
Using wisdom while his body is lesser?
It’s what one prays
As he hit these dog days
But the truth is I’m just a guesser.

I do guess that Price will improve
As he finally adjusts to his move.
Fenway is tough
When the going gets rough
On Sunday, did Price find his groove?

For now, we just wait and see
You, and you, and you, and me
(Except the guy from Nantucket
That dude can suck it.)
A great year it can still be!

On it, I would not bet my life
Or my house, daughter or wife
But I’d bet a dollar
If you’re in, just holler,
That by October the Price will be right.

Photo by Bob DeChiara/USA Today Sports Images

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